Secret Stash

[Trigger: Fat shaming in OP’s post]Apparently there is a “fat fashion” tag on tumblr.

fuckyeahsexeducation:

fuckthegenderpolice:

oppressionisyucky:

mcgoats:

dearestandqueerest:

fugue-stasis:

vikkiage:

meandmyfat:

80thstreet:

Yeah, I know, just so many politically incorrect parts of that sentence.

Anyway, being a girl who likes people to look good, I’m gonna send a few tips, because some things I saw just weren’t something I advise people to emulate. Ever. Whether you are a skinny chick or a chunky chick.

For heavier people, you want to look like your stomach just disappeared. There are a few easy rules to follow, that usually, if not always, are something you should do.

Never wear a tight waist! I know, it sounds counteractive, right? Wrong, if you wear something tight on the waist, you get the muffin tops, rolls, and the chunk. You always want to look smooth, and trust me, the moment anyone see a roll, you go from plus sized beauty to chunky fashion mistake.

Flimsy cloth is a NO-NO. You want to get a thicker cloth, because it will act as a smoother, and when your smooth, everyone sees hips and boobs, not stomachs.

NO BELTS ON WAIST. EVER. I’ve seen so many beautiful sweater shirts, dresses, and regular shirts ruined because you can tell the belt they’re wearing CUTS INTO THEM. It looks wrong and makes poof. YOU DON’T WANT POOF.

No pencil skirts. THIS ONE IS A DUPER. But, I’ve found a simple test to see whether its good or not. When you try it on, you look for three things. 1) No Saddlebags. 2) No between thigh hollowness. If the skirt sinks in between your legs, please burn it. 3) Appropriate length is knee length. WHY? Because you hid the thigh to knee dimples. I have them too guys, and you don’t want to see them.

No leggings as pants. Leggings go under two things. Dresses and skirts. And even then use with caution.

NO WORKOUT PANTS. EVER. IF YOU’RE IN PUBLIC GET RID OF THEM. Even at the gym, don’t wear them. Get sweats. Look appropriate.

Shoes. Try not to wear strappy, booties, or anything with ankle strappings.

Careful with sleeves, please. No rolls, no side boobs, no arm puff. Please.

Solids are your friend. Small stripes? The enemy. Big Stripes? Cute. Polka dots? Possibly. And whatever print you do, keep it to one area. One shirt, one skirt, one half of the dress. Kapeeche?

This is kind of a load of horse shit. Just because fat bodies don’t “look good” to you doesn’t mean that they should have to hide the fact that they are, in fact, fat bodies.

“For heavier people, you want to look like your stomach just disappeared.” Oh, do we? That would be really convenient for you, wouldn’t it? If all fat people just decided to hide their fat parts just because you’re not comfortable with looking at them.

Sorry, but seriously fuck this and other guides dictating what fat people can and can’t wear because it’s not “flattering.” Flattering is just another word for covering up and being ashamed of the parts that you have and should love.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with muffin tops, chub, chunk, sideboob, or having a stomach.

So what if a belt “cuts into” you? If you like the belt, fucking wear it. Look. If I want to wear a pencil skirt that shows the outline of my tummy, or comes above the knee, I’ll fucking do it. Small stripes, work out pants, leggings? If I want to wear it, I will, and there’s nothing you can do or say about it.

So, here’s my

DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO FASHION FOR FAT (AND ALL OTHER) BODIES:

If you like it, wear it. Your body is yours, it is beautiful, and I promise you can rock it. And don’t let anyone tell you different.

Wow um 80thstreet you are a fucking asshole. Trying to save us fatties from ourselves? Fuck off. I honestly I wish I could scream at you right now.

Excuse me while I go debunk these in a sec…

man FUCK ALL THAT SHIT OP SAID.

fat people. rule.

don’t hide shit. flaunt ALL of it.

also pencil skirts or rather pencil mini skirts, belted waists, and sheer cloth shirts are some of my FAVORITE THINGS EVER ON ANYONE AND MY ROOMMATE WEARS THESE ALL THE TIME AND SHE’S FUCKING AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL AND FAT.

fuck op. fuck them with a rake.

I purposely wear clothing that shows off my fat, my rolls, my chunkiness, my chub, my saddlebags, my belly, my celulite, my muffintop— all my lovely curves and waves and squish and “poof”. BECAUSE I THINK IT’S FUCKING SEXY AND FABULOUS AND WONDERFUL.

As a matter of fact, I love pencil skirts that show off my belly and thighs.

I’m currently wearing a long sweater with a waist belt that does cut in but looks fabulous, and the sweater shows off all my bulges— AND I’M WEARING TIGHTS UNDERNEATH

gosh

I’m naughty, huh

Sorry I’m subjecting you to my fatness and making it obvious instead of hiding it behind potato sacks

Eat my shit, tho, OP. Eat my fat shit.

Tight waist/belted waist, Flimsy cloth, Pencil skirts, Leggings, Sleeveless, Prints, Ankle straps? WHaaatt? Those are some sexy things, let me show you OP!

SUPER HOT! And also prints (with those dreaded circles) tights, sleeveless and I think there is something on the ankles though I didn’t understand what the OP was saying there, so that one is going to be hard to debunk.

ADORABLE! Sleeveless, tights (really sexy tights I might add), flimsy fabric, tight/belted waist!

WATCH OUT! BABE IN A PENCIL SKIRT! Also tights.

PRINCESS STATUS!! Look at how friggin awesome she looks with those strappy ankle shoes, the tight shirt that says, hey, look at how awesome I am!

RAWR!! Leggings as pants looking fly! And the patterns with those circles you think are somehow not hot? Whaaaat, this attractive person is here to prove you so wrong!

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTIES NOW? Bet you have just thrown them off even though this is a tight dress with a pencil skirt like bottom, strappy ankles, tights, belt at the waist!

VANITY AS AN ART FORM Tight waist, showing off the arms (also Femmes and Family is probably one of my favorite people I follow in terms of showing off all the time, be careful though, vanity/self-confidence can be contagious).

And to wrap us up, the one who keyed me into this ludicrous post:

MCGOATS BEING LITERALLY THE SEX! showing off arms, wearing flimsy fabric, those might even be leggings as pants, HOT!

I hope this illustrates why these rules are silly and hot people are hot no matter what they are (or aren’t ;D) wearing.

Quality post by oppressionisyucky! :D

I get very angry whenever people try to police what other people wear. Which is why I can’t watch “what not to wear” because I will go into a violent rage.

OP: